My teachers were a special breed. Some inspired hard work, like Mrs. Beaver in 1st grade. She was the one who always reminded me, “If you put your mind to it, you can do it, do it, do it.” Some were nurturing, like Mrs. Sealy in 4th grade. She was the one who always baked a birthday cake for each student…
Things haven’t been going well for a while. It was probably five years ago, somewhere after the first child was born, that you and your spouse unintentionally began pursuing different goals. As a result of feeling deprioritized and neglected, one of you became focused on your career. The other folded the responsibility of “primary caregiver” to the baby into the…
Several years ago during a couples’ counseling session, a client asked me how my wife and I went about resolving our conflicts. What were the steps we took to ensure a positive outcome? Honestly, the question shocked me a little. I hadn’t really thought about it before. Our pattern of conflict resolution was,
If you are in any type of relationship and you have found yourself getting into stupid arguments over stupid things, then you have probably sought out advice in some form (books, friends, magazine articles, pastors, counselors, etc) to help you with this issue. The problem with most advice, though, is that it primarily focuses on what NOT to do. Those…
I’ve been doing this job since 1996 and if there is one thing that I’ve learned about couples it is that the vast majority of them (close to 98% in my estimate) believe that they suck at communicating. And they do. The problem, though, is that despite every conversation teetering towards oblivion… communication is the last thing they need to…
Communication can be a maze, but it doesn’t have to be, if you know these three basic rules.
There are 10 landmines you can step on during conflict. Here’s how to avoid them.