Things haven’t been going well for a while. It was probably five years ago, somewhere after the first child was born, that you and your spouse unintentionally began pursuing different goals. As a result of feeling deprioritized and neglected, one of you became focused on your career. The other folded the responsibility of “primary caregiver” to the baby into the…
A Peek Inside My Brain: 9 Steps to Effective Conflict Resolution
Several years ago during a couples’ counseling session, a client asked me how my wife and I went about resolving our conflicts. What were the steps we took to ensure a positive outcome? Honestly, the question shocked me a little. I hadn’t really thought about it before. Our pattern of conflict resolution was,
How to be an Unforgettable Spouse
Last week during the ritual pursuit of “what do you want to do this weekend,” my wife discovered that a new restaurant had opened up and boasted of one of the best desserts in town. “Why don’t we get ourselves a slice of pie after church,” she said. Immediately, my inner five-year-old began bouncing up and down on the edge…
How to Argue Without Getting Stupid
If you are in any type of relationship and you have found yourself getting into stupid arguments over stupid things, then you have probably sought out advice in some form (books, friends, magazine articles, pastors, counselors, etc) to help you with this issue. The problem with most advice, though, is that it primarily focuses on what NOT to do. Those…
How I Learned to Think Like a Man But Talk Like a Woman
Communication can be a maze, but it doesn’t have to be, if you know these three basic rules.
Maneuvering Around the Minefield of Conflict
There are 10 landmines you can step on during conflict. Here’s how to avoid them.