My teachers were a special breed. Some inspired hard work, like Mrs. Beaver in 1st grade. She was the one who always reminded me, “If you put your mind to it, you can do it, do it, do it.” Some were nurturing, like Mrs. Sealy in 4th grade. She was the one who always baked a birthday cake for each student…
Things haven’t been going well for a while. It was probably five years ago, somewhere after the first child was born, that you and your spouse unintentionally began pursuing different goals. As a result of feeling deprioritized and neglected, one of you became focused on your career. The other folded the responsibility of “primary caregiver” to the baby into the…
Several years ago during a couples’ counseling session, a client asked me how my wife and I went about resolving our conflicts. What were the steps we took to ensure a positive outcome? Honestly, the question shocked me a little. I hadn’t really thought about it before. Our pattern of conflict resolution was,
EPH. 5:25-33: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.[a] 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives…
Two weekends ago my wife came home from running errands and came to a dead stop before walking up to the door. Fall had finally cracked the door of cooler days and smiled a cascade of bright light on our home. “Oh my God,” she said, staring at our entryway. “The doorway looks nasty! How long has it been since…
It was a beautiful day when you got married. The sun shone as bright as your future and hope seemed to pour from every smiling face that congratulated you. And not because of the open bar. Your friends and family were genuinely happy for you. You were genuinely happy for you. But somewhere along the way that raging bonfire of passion…
Q: Aside from waiting an average of six years before seeking professional help, what’s the number one mistake most people make when going to marriage therapy? A: Telling themselves, and the counselor, that all their relationship needs is “better communication.” Now, don’t get me wrong. This isn’t a bad answer. Research has shown that couples who do not communicate well,…
It’s 2 a.m. and you can still hear the rain slapping against the window. The wind howls and the beams creak as they arm wrestle for superiority of this small corner of the world. Maybe you should have gotten out of town. But you never imagined it would be this bad. You walk over to the window and pull the…
In December 1975, Paul Simon released a song that he had written after the divorce of his first wife, Peggy Harper. It was simple in composition with only a drum riff playing in the background, but strong vocals and a catchy chorus helped it to quickly become a gold record (denoting one million in sales). Sung as the retelling of a…
Last week during the ritual pursuit of “what do you want to do this weekend,” my wife discovered that a new restaurant had opened up and boasted of one of the best desserts in town. “Why don’t we get ourselves a slice of pie after church,” she said. Immediately, my inner five-year-old began bouncing up and down on the edge…